Whether we want to make a big work change or big planetary change happen, the messy middle is often the hardest bit.
We can’t go back, but we’re a way off arriving at our new destination, and this mid-leap hinterland brings up many unique experiences and challenges.
With this in mind I thought it might be useful to share some brief reflections on what we can expect at these times, based on my years spent supporting individuals and organisations to make big changes happen.
There’s nothing that can make planetary, professional or personal big change a breeze. But knowing what to expect as we make leaps in new directions both normalises challenges and helps us navigate them better, so we are more likely to be successful in getting where we want to be.
We will underestimate and overestimate what will happen and when
We tend to anticipate that big change will happen much quicker than it does – this can leave us inpatient, frustrated and feeling like we might as well give up: “ah well, it’s never going to happen”, we decide. At the same time we tend to underestimate how much change can happen over the long term, as our brains understandably find it hard to accurately predict the cumulative, connected, impacts of small changes over time. In short, things will change much less than we expect in the short term and much more than we expect in the long term.
It can be hard in ways we don’t expect
We all know that change can be challenging. We know this from trying to change a stubborn habit, let alone changing careers, behaviours, systems and structures created over many years. Even so, we underestimate how hard it can be, so when big challenges arise this can be very off putting! Big change is a big step into the unknown. We haven’t done it before, so we don’t know what we’re doing, so we will try, fail and learn over and over again. This requires a lot of regrouping and getting back up again – it’s exhausting and hard. It also involves letting go of things – the identities, people, places and ways we hold dear to allow space for different. In big change, we don’t just do things differently, we become someone different. The grief and impacts of this can be unexpected and far reaching.
Unimaginable things will happen
When we try to make a big change happen – collectively or independently – we set off many changes at once. These interact with other changes, people, and contexts, and combine so new possibilities arise that we can’t yet imagine – a big change alchemy of sorts! This is as daunting as it is hopeful. What will happen? Honestly, we don’t know. Can we be alright with this not knowing and keep going?
Things can only get (worse before they get ) better
The challenges of bringing about big change tend to outweigh the real and imagined benefits of staying the same, to the extent that that lots of challenge often needs to build to get us moving. The pros of changing have to outweigh the pros of staying put. Things often have to get very bad to get much better. This is a sad reality which leads to much individual and collective suffering – but it is how big change works.
All big change happens with small shifts
Once we decide we want things to be different we often want and need it now and quickly! But big transitions are a long game – we get there through the chain and cumulation of small shifts in action, feeling and perspective. This can leave us feeling that what we are doing isn’t enough. But new ways of being and doing add up over time and eventually we end up in a very different place. Keep moving in the direction you want to head, and trust that your future self will thank you for doing so.
Everything we do and don’t do does matter
Think about setting off on a journey, if you take a step towards your destination that it is two steps forward from doing the opposite – heading back where you came from. Pay attention to whether your action is aligned and directed to the future you want. Every action we decide to take or not take moves us one way of another. The frustrating, unpredictable and challenging nature of making big change happen can have us giving up or not bothering – going backwards. But if we keep making progress aligned to our aim or new direction, then bigger shifts in this direction eventually happen. Find the support, space and structure you need to keep going.
These are my thoughts for now.
I welcome your feedback on these reflections – DM on LinkedIn if you’d like to share them. We all have different experiences of big change, shaped a lot by our current and past context and privileges. Listening to and learning from each other is a great place to support each other through messy middles.
